Camping for Lounge Lizards

Martin Field

Camping for Lounge Lizards

A friend recently demonstrated to me the perfect gift for sedentary and boozing lounge lizards. It is a device that will definitely get them out of their city doss houses into a life of camping, hiking and breathing fresh mountain air, filtered only through roll-yer-own ciggies. The name of this miraculous invention is the Camelbak HAWG, a backpack type collapsible bag designed to carry liquid refreshment whilst traversing the great outdoors. These HAWG packed liquids are taken orally (rather than intravenously) via a flexible sucking tube.

The HAWG holds up to three litres and is insulated. This means that you can hike to your heart's content with the equivalent of four bottles of your favourite chilled riesling or chardonnay on your back and, as it were, on tap. Thus you will arrive stimulated refreshed at your camping spot after a modest 20 or 30 kilometre stroll up the side of the nearest glacier.

Sadly, at the moment the HAWG comes only in the Dromedary (that is, single hump) model. But I'm told that R&D scientists at Camelbak are, as we speak, working on the Bactrian (i.e. two humped) version. The Bactrian, when eventually released, will enable the hardy hiker to carry four bottles of white and four of red in relative comfort. On that joyous day I shall air the tent, rub Dubbin into the hiking boots, pack my patented Swiss Army Waiters' Friend and, whistling a few bars from Edelweiss, march happily into the unknown. In the meantime I'll sit and watch the World Cup on the new telly.

The HAWG is available at all good camping stores for $US100.

Wine etiquette

Astrid of Alphington writes, "Hi Martin, does white wine 'age' in the fridge? I've run out of space in my wine rack so I save it for the reds and keep all of my whites in the fridge but I'm wondering whether this stops them from further developing? And, what is the correct pronunciation of shiraz? My father insists on calling it shir-ahhz (and cabernet car-bernet). Is he being a wanker or is it me who's ignorant? Look forward to reading your thoughts on these."

Yes, Astrid, white wine will age in the fridge, but very slowly. The ageing of wine is basically a chemical reaction and I recall someone telling me that the speed of any such reactions will double for every increase in temperature of 10C. I imagine that the converse is true and that the rate of refrigerator ageing will halve for every decrease of 10C (except of course when you reach freezing point). Detrimental effects of fridge cellaring could include undue vibration; precipitation of deposits in wine that hasn't been cold-filtered; and, as the fridge is a dry and dehumidified environment, the drying out of corks. This last could eventually lead to some leakage and evaporation. Of course if you keep screw-capped whites in the fridge this last problem should not occur. NB. Unlike corked bottles screw-capped bottles can be cellared standing up. They can also be recycled as containers for tomato sauce, decanted wine etc.

As for the correct pronunciation of grape names and without wishing to cast aspersions upon your dear father, I've got a friend who still pronounces reezling as ryzling. And I've heard shiraz pronounced as shy-raz, shyrah, shiraahz and sh'raz. I think Australians favour the last one. And as for cabernet: there's carbernay, (lah di dah); kabinay (Aussie) and sohvinyon and savvynyon. There's no accounting for taste in pronunciation but check out the Living Audio Wine Dictionary for another opinion. Note, tradition has it that the worst selling wines in restaurants are those which are difficult to pronounce. Customers clearly do not wish to make fools of themselves in front of their guests or sometimes haughty sommeliers.

Research on Breathing Wine

"Martin, On breathing wine: we performed a breathing of dry red wine exercise at our Wine Dine Academy in 1975. Using techniques I learned at Uni of California, we had 71 participants, all of whom had just finished our six week wine appreciation lecture series. Half the bottles of a Penfolds Private Bin (like Bin 389) were opened at noon and decanted. The other half were opened at 7:55pm, say. Each participant was given 15 tries to distinguish which was the odd glass of three they had poured for them, two being noon opening, one being opened five minutes before tasting. We had a statistics professor from La Trobe Uni participating and at the end of the arduous exercise, using his pocket calculator, he pronounced that as a group, we could not tell the difference between what had been opened at noon and the same wine opened five minutes previously!!" -- Ian Hickinbotham

"Martin, On breathing wine, the intrepid John Clarke had the following to say. 'Puttin' an open bottle of red in front of me and tellin' me to let it breathe, is like slappin' a T-Bone steak in front of a Blue Heeler & sayin' 'Sit!!' Let it breathe? I'll give it mouth to mouth." -- Richard Thomas

Tasted recently

Delatite Pinot Gris 2001. Cellar to 2006. About $20.KKKK
Central Victoria. Near water pale, hint of green. Aromatic floral, fresh-picked pears and faint almond bouquet. Elegant in the mouth with generous flavours of pears and apples, finishing dry with soft acidity.

Jansz Cuvée 1997. Cellar to 2010. Around $30. KKKK
Pipers River. Very pale, slight yellow, medium bead. 'Methode Tasmanoise' according to the blurb - I like it. Light yeastiness and floral notes on the nose. Crisp and clean on the palate with hints of strawberry, and Granny Smith apple acidity at the finish. Excellent aperitif style. Although most people don't cellar bubbly this one will last the distance if so desired.

De Bortoli Deen Vat 4 Petit Verdot 2001. Cellar to 2005. Around $9.  KKK½
Riverina region. Youthful purple tones. Plenty of spicy fruit on the nose. Sweet berries and American oak in the mouth, substantial and chewy texture finishing firmly. Top food style and bargain priced.

Quote

"Reality is an illusion created by lack of alcohol." N. F. Simpson. 

Martin Field